Becoming an Ex-Expat: Getting Moved

By Catherine Janzen | Senior Member

One fine May evening years ago, my friend Liam gently set down his pint of Guinness on a scarred table in the middle of the United States, almost as far from another country as it was physically possible to get.

"Once you leave, you’ll never fit anywhere quite the same again," he said.

Today, after living in Switzerland for the decade since his comment, I’m back in the United States as an ex-expat. As I write in temporary accommodations and wait impatiently for an Internet connection, I haven’t begun to process what having lived as an expat means to me and how I might fit in again. However, my stuff finally made it across the sea, so I thought I’d share some things I’ve learned in getting my household home.

Project Management

Any project requiring several months of preparation and execution, thousands of dollars, multiple subcontractors, and at least two countries’ worth of paperwork and bureaucracy deserves serious attention. Make a Plan A and a backup Plan B. When you don’t know what to do next, work the plan. At the same time, no matter how much you plan, it won’t matter because things will go wrong—in which case, liberally apply the "don’t worry about the little things" rule. Patience, calmness, and objectivity can mean the difference between success and misery.

Tools

The tool set is also critical, and for this project I wanted tools that were quick to access, easy to use, and highly visible.

The Book of Change. I write down—in an actual book—every to-do, pending, or done task, result, conversation, random thought, and all the rude things I want to say but shouldn’t. I write everything without exception, no matter how trivial, and capture people’s names, dates and times, and relevant contact information, including phone numbers and email addresses. I started the first Book of Change the day I decided to move, and I’m quickly filling the second. It goes with me everywhere, requires only a pen to use, and is highly visible.

My Book of Change is a Moleskine notebook with unruled paper, mid-sized, big enough to take notes and draw diagrams, but not so big as to be bulky. Screaming orange, the notebook stands out in the moving mess. I also carry two pens because naturally, the one day I didn’t, the pen I had ran out of ink.

As a project manager and confirmed geek, I feel decidedly hypocritical about using paper and pen, but each time I opened my first project plan, I hyperventilated at the hundreds of undone tasks. In addition, I was often in places where I couldn’t comfortably take notes on a computer. It’s also easier to staple receipts to the Book of Change than to an iPad. However, if I’d been working with someone else, I would have used cloud-based software (for non-sensitive data only) to ensure that the Project Plan of Change was constantly updated and available.

Inventory Files. I’d never bothered with a proper inventory before, but I learned my lesson when I first moved overseas. I carefully chose and shipped a single box of my most important professional books. Weeks later, when the box arrived late after being left on a rainy loading dock, every book but one sported fur coats of blue, pink, and green mold. Because I didn’t have an inventory, I lost the original goods, as well as the replacement value.

Your detailed inventory is used by the origination moving company when packing and loading, as the basis for move insurance, as the shipping manifest for the transport companies, for customs duties in both origination and destination countries, and by the destination moving company when delivering your goods.

It took months to catalogue everything (and I only took part of my household goods), so start early. Work room-by-room and avoid backtracking. Using a good camera, take photos of individual items or groups of similar items. When I downloaded each photo to the computer, I noted location, date, and object to improve search and retrieval.

In the inventory spreadsheet, I tracked the following types of things for each item:

to ship, to take on the plane, to send by post, or to sell/donate
status, such as photo or receipt needed or ready to ship
hyperlinks to photos for everything and scanned receipts and appraisals for big-ticket items
new and replacement costs including shipping, if required, for the different currencies
brand names, models, and serial numbers
titles, authors, ISBN numbers, current costs with shipping, if not available in the United States, for all physical media, including books, music, and video (I would use a barcode scanner app for this in the future)
descriptions and notes

I followed the 80/20 rule on how much to inventory. For example, I have excessive detail on big-ticket, old, or hard-to-replace items, whereas for things such as t-shirts, I noted "six t-shirts," took a photo of all six shirts laid out together, assigned a flat replacement cost per item, and multiplied to get the total. (I am still slightly ashamed about the number of shoes I own.)

Replacement insurance is generally valued at the destination, so you may have to do some research. Getting it right is critical. If you overvalue, you overpay at every step. If you undervalue, however, the insurance company, in case of loss, may reduce your compensation across the board, and customs officers may fine you if they suspect you are smuggling goods and not declaring fair value.

Scanner/Copier/Printer and Shredder. I sold these items last when I left and bought them first at the destination. Even with the self-contained Book of Change, managing paper is overwhelming. I scanned and shredded every document I could to reduce the bulk of paper to be shipped. Although I scanned moving papers, bank agreements, and lease information for reference, I carried with me on the plane the paper originals and all documents with sensitive data. Moving expenses are also tax-deductible for many people, so keep and label your receipts while you can remember what they were for.

One downside to being "all-electronic" is that at some point the scanner will no longer be available, so plan for a short-term workaround to manage incoming documents.

Communications

I’m the most uncommunicative writer ever, so please do as I say, not as I didn’t do. Regularly update your blog, social media accounts, and professional and networking communities. Send mass email letters to friends and family in both old and new countries, as they will worry about you. I just ran out of energy, which has been hard on my friends.

On public social media, be extremely careful about posting exact names, dates, and locations of social events or move information in order to prevent theft of all your neatly boxed household goods and to avoid phishing attempts and identity theft.

The Move

Because moving is well covered on the Internet and in many books, I’ll mention just a few things that I didn’t see in my research.

Timing. Avoid Summer if at all possible as it is more expensive and stressful, and subcontractors who are not professional movers might pack and load your goods. At any time, the move will usually take longer than you expect; conversely, however, don’t let people or situations rush you into making bad decisions. Many movers can store your belongings under your original insurance plan for a very reasonable rate, so ask and take the time you need.

Request for Proposals (RFP). I followed a standard RFP process when I hired my origination moving company. After researching and identifying five companies of interest, I had them come to my flat for an in-home estimate and interview. I used a standard set of interview questions, which I developed after researching international moving issues. Having the sales reps all come the same week kept the process consistent. When the deadline for receiving the emailed written proposals expired, I threw out the most and least expensive bids and conducted phone interviews for the middle cluster. Pay attention to how companies respond in person, by phone, and by email, because you may have to use all of these means during the move. The salesperson, however, will most likely not be your move coordinator, so get a feel for how the overall team and company work, not just the sales team. For the middle group, I blind-scored the interview answers and the estimated rates, and chose based on that data.

Stand Up for Yourself. Do not be afraid to say, "This isn’t right." My Swiss origination moving company proposed a well-known United States–based destination agent, which sent out the required electronic paperwork. Unfortunately, the paperwork had already been completed with another client’s name and personal details. I immediately wrote to the move manager in the Swiss company, who found a new and better replacement company within 24 hours.

What to Take. You have three options: all, some, or nothing. The only people I know who take everything are high-level diplomats or executives. The rest of us are usually stuck between nothing and some. Because your fabulous inventory includes replacement and shipping costs in your destination country, you can evaluate whether it’s worth it to buy a new couch later or ship the one you have.

Consider what you can and can’t find in the new place. Neither beds nor office paper are the same size globally. Think carefully about how much you want to haul a bed frame for which you can’t buy a new mattress and bedding or to take a filing cabinet that won’t fit your future files.

Also double-check in your destination country whether you can take certain foods, cosmetics, alcohol, medicines, reading/viewing material, electronics, and animal skins or woods in items like furniture or musical instruments.

Finally, do take stuff that reminds you of happy days, such as the cups with the hand-painted cherries. Who cares that they’re chipped? When you use them, you won’t see the chip; you’ll remember shopping with your friend on a sunny afternoon.

People

Although moving your household goods is likely the most expensive and physically hardest part, I’ve tried to put people first during the move, because it is the people—not the gorgeous Swiss Alps or my books—I miss most.

Manage Your Emotions and Stress. You’re going to experience an astounding array of emotions including grief, loss, and loneliness, but also excitement about new horizons and adventures. If others, such as your spouse or children, are involved, you will not experience the same emotions at the same time, which means that as a faint star of excitement appears on your horizon, your eight-year-old daughter will realize she’ll never see her friends at school again and be inconsolable.

Caution: Don’t over-communicate, especially professionally. If a problem will impact a project or team, communicate a work-around strategy; otherwise keep it to yourself or your core support group.

Cut Some Slack and Don’t Take It Personally. Other people may not understand the issues you are facing, so build in extra time to accomplish tasks and allow room for emotional responses. If it does get to be too much, don’t take it personally. Take a 10-minute walk instead, preferably in the sunshine.

Leave Room for the People You Leave Behind. Your friends will miss you as much as you miss them. In fact, you may find people you’d never expect who genuinely want to keep in touch. So don’t forget to have a leaving party, maybe even two. Set up video conferencing ahead of time. Everyone whines about video conferencing ("Oh, I’ll have to put on makeup," "I have to put on real clothes," blah blah), but seeing the faces via conference call, although not the same as Saturday morning at the café, feels more real.

Plan for Reverse Culture Shock Before You Leave. Even though I have returned to my home country, 10 years is a long time to be gone. Re-acculturating can be difficult and lonely, and often people here don’t want to hear about there.

I’m trying to look forward and back at the same time. I’m studying my home country’s culture, sports, and politics, just as I did when I first moved to my host country. On the other hand, after a frustrating day trying to get utilities turned on via the Web in an apartment without an Internet connection, I can temporarily fly back to Switzerland by recipes from the cookbook my former neighbors gave me as a parting gift.

Send Yourself a Box of Love. I timed my box to arrive just after my plane and before my shipping container. As well as a winter coat, I included going-away cards and smaller presents, such as the cookbook, so when I looked at the items, I had a tangible reminder my friends.

Conclusion

Was it worth it?

The world I’ve come back to has changed—people have moved on, places that were once safe are no longer, processes that used to work now don’t. Repatriating, especially after a long time, means all the normal stresses of moving, coupled with the very real need to protect yourself and your family physically, emotionally, personally, professionally, legally, and financially.

I had the pleasure of 10 years of making friends and meeting people from different cultures and countries—people who were open, inviting, and enthusiastic, and who lovingly showed me their countries and reinvigorated my love for my own as I saw it through their eyes.

So without having fully unpacked my boxes or my heart, I can’t yet tell whether I’ll ever fit here again, but if the next 10 years are as lovely as the last, I’m looking forward to finding out.

Catherine Janzen (cathjanzen@gmail.com) is a senior consultant and manager of projects, services, and teams for technical and corporate communications, content strategy, and business process management. For the past 10 years, she worked in Geneva, Switzerland, including as the World Health Organization/ITT Technical Communications and Training Resources team lead and for selected non-governmental organizations (NGOs).